5 Weeks is Too Many

After 5 weeks in the States, I’m home again on Luna Sea! And, let me tell you, I am thrilled to be here.

So, here’s a little head’s up: this is a long, difficult post for me to write. But I’m going to share the story with you, in the hopes that it clears up some questions people have about this nomadic life. But really, if you’re thinking of living this life, it’s probably just going to open a can or two of worms you didn’t even know existed. You’re welcome 🙂

Apparently, I have to state this clearly: I am SO happy to be back on my boat! I keep running into people that ask me if I’m happy to be back. Really? This gorgeous, warm, sunny, friendly island vs crazy-mad schedules, cold and rainy gray days and all-night visits to the hospital? Yes, please, I’ll take my cozy little floating home full of Mark and Molly any day. To be fair, a lot of people here still don’t know what happened in the States. Which means a lot of YOU dear readers also don’t know the roller coaster ride of a visit I endured. So here goes. A breakdown of my visit – which includes more than one breakdown of my own.

Hot as Balls

This summer in Grenada was long and HOT. I can’t even explain to you how hot September is in Grenada. We like to think we’re pretty well acclimated. If it’s less than 85 in the boat, we almost feel chilly. Almost… But in August and September we were watching the temps climb well into the 90’s down below. We spent as much time above decks as possible. But being in these calm and protected coves has a down side – the wee bit of breeze barely reaches the boat and the waters are still and murky. Not ideal for daily cool down swims.

Fun Fact #1:

Our tempers were soaring right along with those temperatures. Mark and I don’t just love each other, we really like each other. That’s important. But even so, between the heat, the close quarters 24/7, and the list of boat projects we had planned for our extended stay in Grenada, fuses were short for both of us. We needed a break – and we needed cash. Those projects add up.

Fun Fact #2:

We try to live on $1000 to $1500usd per month. That does NOT include boat repairs and maintenance, other than the most basic of projects. How do we pay for this? Savings. And our savings, 2 years into this journey, are beginning to take a noticeable hit. Add the money worries to the fiery temps and you have instant bickering. Or, in our case, tense silence. Which is The Worst.

On top of it all (and to steal a line from my little sister, Beth): I like to keep my feelings on the inside, where they belong. That means not saying what I’m feeling. I don’t mean the sarcastic comments that typically come out in any general conversation. I mean the real nitty gritty stuff. And turns out, as I learned on my 27 hour trip to Oklahoma City, for me, that leads to a bleeding ulcer. Yep. I spent 27 hours traveling to the States with what felt like an alien trying to climb out of my guts.

I was supposed to land about 9am Wednesday morning, be picked up by Beth, and go straight to work. Because, ultimately, that is what I went to the States for – to train to work remotely. (At least that’s what I thought I went to the States for… Turns out, two weeks later, I learned the real reason for the trip.) But my plane was late, I was exhausted and dehydrated, and bleeding. I needed drugs and sleep. After Beth dropped me at her house and booked it back to work, I walked to the grocery store just down the street – to grab some snacks and OTC ulcer meds. I barely made it back to the house before getting light headed and nauseous. My endless hours waiting in airports allowed me to research the weird gut pain and narrow it down to an ulcer. I was in denial about the bleeding as long as possible. But this was clearly a serious situation. I grabbed some sleep and fluids and decided to avoid doctors if possible. My theory was that if the OTC meds worked, I had nailed the self-diagnosis.

Fun Fact #3:

Medical care in the States is ridiculously expensive. If I’d gone to Urgent Care, as I probably should have, it would easily have been in the thousands by the time I met the doc, paid for lab tests, and found a gastroenterologist to do an endoscopy. Because that’s what I ultimately need – and endoscopy, biopsy, and antibiotics. So, what did I do? The meds stopped the bleeding and most of the pain, so I walked around for 5 weeks, just trying to make it back to the islands where I knew I could be treated for hundreds of dollars vs thousands. Sounds crazy. But facts are facts. Without health insurance, which is our choice, I literally had to walk around with a bleeding ulcer – just trying to get back home for treatment.

I spent 2 weeks going to work with Beth Monday thru Thursday, then on Fridays we would drive 2 hours to Muskogee to do some belly dancing and fire dancing on Friday and Saturday nights. Did I mention that I didn’t know how to do either? Yep, I was more stressed about getting on stage and dancing than I was about learning my new job. But throw a glass of wine at me, and apparently I’m good to go. Who knew? Sundays were spent driving 2 hours back to OKC, doing laundry (I do miss a washer and dryer!) unpacking dance costumes, and trying to get some sleep before work on Monday, followed by dance practice on Monday night… Our schedule was CRAZY. I still don’t know how she does this on a regular basis. I am definitely spoiled by our slow-paced island life. And Little Sis needs to slow her ass down.

During the 2nd week of the trip, we heard our older sister was in the ICU in Alabama. Typically, you would rush to the hospital, right? Well, she spent a good amount of her time in hospitals, and it was typically asthma. And she typically told us not to come visit. So we typically didn’t. When the weekend rolled around and we checked on her, she was still in the ICU. And we learned it wasn’t an asthma attack. I was liver and kidney failure. The next morning we were in the car for the 12 hour trip to see our big sister.

We think we made it in time for her to recognize that we were there. But we’re not really sure. We stayed with her for the week. Beth never left the hospital. I left a few nights to get some sleep and take a break. The alien was stirring, and I didn’t want to end up in the hospital as well. Beth and I just hung out in her room and played word games and taunted each other, as sisters do. We played music she liked. We talked to her. We chatted with her friends that came to visit, as well as family. We watched the whole week, as her poor little body gave in one organ at a time. Eventually, her big, giant heart gave in, and she died on Saturday. We hung out for a few more days. We did Karaoke at one of her spots on Monday and had a memorial on Tuesday. And drove back to OKC on Wednesday. It was a heart-breaking week. And almost a month later I still can’t believe it’s real.

I know I’ve mentioned that this life style is full of high-highs and low-lows, but this was one crazy roller coaster of a month off the boat. And I feel like I’m not quite off the ride yet. I go from being in awe of waterfalls here in Grenada to random tears, realizing that she’s gone.

I went over to the far side of Hog Island last week to spread some of her ashes. (Yes, I smuggled her on the plane with me, so her adventures are not over yet!) But as I was walking away I caught myself wanting to message her and tell about the cool beach where I’d just spread her ashes…

This life is amazing.

I’m starting to feel a bit more like myself again. I’ve been to a doctor, gotten prescription meds, and have an appointment with a gastroenterologist for an endoscopy next week (so far, it has cost a whopping $160us). I’m hanging out with friends some, but party mode just doesn’t fit. Both with my mood, and my alien-inhabited guts.   And they probably think I’m crazy when I break into random tears…  Which means we’re having shorter nights out, I’m giving the alien more rest, and I can keep my awkward tears to myself.

Normal, Almost

I’m very happy with the medical care I’m receiving, and equally thrilled with the cost. But I’m not done yet with treatment, so we will see what happens. Mark and I are back on course. We’re exploring waterfalls and wrapping up final boat projects before we head north up the island chain this season.  I’m working a bit, which is great for my mental health and our bank account. I still randomly break into tears. I miss my sisters in the States. And friends. And, yes, the washer and dryer… But not the cold, the hectic schedules, the fast food, the news, the shopping, the gogogo. I love this life and wouldn’t change it for the world.

Choices

So here’s the deal. I would not have gone to the States to see Marie in the hospital, had I not already been in the country. By the time I found out she was in serious condition, it was too late to get a ticket. I would have had to spend well over $1000 to fly to her memorial, if I could have even gotten there in time. I skipped needed medical care because I couldn’t afford it in the States. Because we choose not to keep health insurance that we can’t use out of the country. Honestly, we can’t afford to pay for things we don’t use. And yes, I’m working part time now, and I love it. But we are still whittling away at our savings. For now, anyway.

On the upside, I already had plans to be in the States – and I truly believe it worked out how it was intended. Yes, I am heartbroken that Marie is gone. But it would have been so much worse (for me) had I not been by her side when she went on to wherever it is that we go when we leave this crazy planet. For me, there is quality care here for an affordable price. For us, I am working and bringing in money – and this also creates some time for each of us to be alone and do our own things. We are still learning this whole cruising thing. Sure, we’ve been at it for 2 years, but there’s SO MUCH to learn. And many, many more beaches to visit. So we carry on, and learn as we go. And hopefully sharing here helps all of YOU think about the side of this life that is not cocktails, rainbows, waterfalls and beaches.

Your Turn

What questions does this bring up for you?  Have you considered health care?  And the fact that many US policies don’t really work outside the country?  What if a loved one is sick?  Or dies?  Do you have a stash of money set aside to cover that last minute plane ticket?  How do you choose who to spend the plane ticket money on, god forbid you have multiple emergencies in a single time frame?  How much savings do you need for boat repairs and maintenance?  Do you even HAVE savings, or are you thinking to work as you travel?  Or both?  Let me know in the comments!  The longer I’m out here, the longer I realize what sort of nitty gritty details we really need to share.  And as always, thanks for reading  <3

About Author

Jennifer

Artist, food nerd, SUP/yoga enthusiast and travel obsessed blogger – chronicling the process of going from land to sea. Selling all of her worldly possessions so that she can set sail into the sunset with her husband and two dachshunds – searching for that next sunrise paddle. Follow along. It’ll be fun 🙂

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